


The Letters You Wrote Me

by KazePeriwinkle



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Adultery, Angst, Cheating, F/F, Fluff, Other, this is my first time writing something like this so lets see how it goes, tw depression, wlw relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-15 22:49:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18678901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KazePeriwinkle/pseuds/KazePeriwinkle
Summary: Then she uncovered a letter that caught her eye. It wasn’t one that she had written, nor Alex. This was from Maria.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I've never written anything like this before so I'm not sure if I'm going to continue it? I'll see how people react and if all goes well, this will become a series! Thank you for reading <3

_ ‘I have told you, and I told you truly that I love you too much. You engross my thoughts too intirely to allow me to think of any thing else—you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream—and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness. ‘Tis a pretty story indeed that I am to be thus monopolized, by a little nut-brown maid like you—and from a statesman and a soldier metamorphosed into a puny lover. I believe in my soul you are an inchantress; but I have tried in vain, if not to break, at least, to weaken the charm—you maintain your empire in spite of all my efforts—and after every new one, I make to withdraw myself from my allegiance my partial heart still returns and clings to you with increased attachment. To drop figure my lovely girl you become dearer to me every moment. I am more and more unhappy and impatient under the hard necessity that keeps me from you, and yet the prospect lengthens as I advance. …’ _

 

This letter was from nearly twenty years ago. Elizabeth and Alexander had been planning to marry in secret, out of fear that Eliza’s father would disapprove of their marriage. Eliza wrapped her slender fingers more firmly around the letter. They were such different people before, innocent and naive. Eliza remembers being giddy with each new note she received and buzzing in anticipation to open them. Alexander was always so nervous and bashful about his feelings. He couldn’t believe that someone like Eliza could ever love him.

 

And yet here they are, seventeen years later, with Elizabeth throwing another letter of lies into the flames of her fireplace. How could someone that loved her so dearly betray her like this? It just didn’t make sense. Alexander was Eliza’s everything, and she was - she thought she was -  _ his  _ everything. She’d long since cried her eyes out over the affair, thrown things, screamed and cursed Alexander’s name, but now she was just too tired to do anything but grieve, grieve and stare into the fire as once precious words burned and crumpled before her. It felt as if she was both in agony and yet completely numb at the same time. More letters, more sparks, more numbness and loss of everything that once was. Then she uncovered a letter that caught her eye.

 

It wasn’t one that she had written, nor Alex. This was from Maria.


	2. Chapter 2

_“Col. Hamilton_

_Dear Sir_

_I have not tim to tell you the cause of my present troubles only that Mr. has rote to you this morning and I know not wether you have got the letter or not and he has swore that If you do not answer It or If he dose not se or hear from you to day he will write Mrs. Hamilton he has just Gone oute and I am a Lone I think you had better come here one moment that you May know the Cause then you will the better know how to act Oh my God I feel more for you than myself and wish I had never been born to give you so mutch unhappisness do not rite to him no not a Line but come here soon do not send or leave any thing in his power_

_Maria”_

Ah, so this was the letter from when they were caught. Elizabeth could feel bitterness rise in her throat like a poison and a scowl form across her lips. No, _Maria_ isn’t the one at fault here, at least not entirely. Alexander is the one that cheated on her. _Maria_ did not know her. _Maria_ suffered from this too. _Maria, Maria, Maria..._

 

She really needed to stop. This wasn’t doing her any good to spiral again. She was so tired. Who knows what time it was now? Eliza scanned over the letter once more. There was something in particular that made her pause, “ _I wish I had never been born”._  That was a pretty strong statement. Of course she would be regretful and panicked, but did Maria really mean that? Was Maria...depressed? The whole letter was written in a self-deprecating manner, so it was possible. Eliza heaved a long sigh.

 

Why was she spending so much time on this? Why did she care? Why did she have to worry about absolutely everybody, even those she had never met, even her husband's mistress? The thought still stung, but she found that she couldn't bring herself to hate the woman. Eliza raked her fingers through her long hair. She really should go to bed. Her husband was most likely in his office and wouldn’t hear her if she snuck away into the bedroom. Whether or not she would be able to sleep was a whole other question. There were so many questions in general swimming around in her mind. Eliza’s eyes kept falling on the letters from Maria.

 

Oh, this was ironic. What else would Alexander do to calm his thoughts, but write? Eliza couldn’t help but chuckle. It wouldn't hurt to vent things every now and then. Maybe then she could get some sleep. Elizabeth tiptoed across the dimly lit room, careful not to step on any letters lest to crinkle or tear them. Delicate hands found the small desk tucked away in the corner of the living room - Alexander insisted he needed one so he could work and watch the children at the same time - and felt their way into the drawer where lay her husband's quill, ink, and parchment. Softly, she toed her way back over to the fireplace where Maria’s letter sat, and drafted one of her own.

 

_“Dear Maria…”_


End file.
